Great Wife

I just want to give a shout-out to Elizabeth for being super great this summer. When I came home from a youth activity with a snapped clavicle on the second day of my summer break, she had a TV tray all set up next to the living room recliner, where I was ordered by the doctor to sleep. On it were a bottle of water, pain medication, remote controls for the TV, etc., and some books and magazines. Several times each day, she would ask me if I needed anything, if I was doing okay. She would lovingly scold me when I would try to do things I shouldn't have been doing and patiently endured my high levels of "I'm broken, what should I do?" anxiety. In one such moment of high anxiety, she even helped me fashion a very uncomfortable figure 8 brace out of some climbing gear and a messenger bag strap.


When I ditched her and went to Europe with some of my siblings and parents, she was happy I had the opportunity to travel and has never begrudged me the trip; she was just glad I brought home some German chocolate.


For my birthday, she asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wanted the family to go on a bike ride and have a picnic at the half way point. I wanted to see how my collarbone would fare while riding, and I have this dream of us being a family that does lots of biking together. She was glad to come along and even held back from mentioning that the time I had chosen was stupid because it bridged Rowyn's nap time. She was even mostly calm when Rowyn shrieked like a child possessed by a demon for the second half of the ride.


When I got my tonsillectomy, she again prepared the TV tray for me out by the recliner (I was supposed to sleep sitting up a little bit so that I wouldn't choke on my blood). But this time, in addition to the books and magazines, she also presented me with a fistfull of DVDs and a bouquet of hydrating/nourishing drinks. Throughout the week, she made several soups that were blended smooth so I could eat them. Not only was she able to make soups using produce from our garden, but they really were good, and all of them could be eaten warm or cold. And again, she stopped me from doing things that the doctor said could cause blood to start gushing in my throat.


I just wish I were better at taking care of her when she is down. I feel as if our relationship is pretty balanced in most ways, but she has got me completely beat in the area of taking care of people who are sick or hurt (and celebrating birthdays; she's really good at that, too, whereas I suck at it). My excuse is that I come from a family which has sort of a fend-for-yourself mentality. And that attitude seems to be pretty deeply ingrained in me. I'm usually extra helpful for a few hours after she has gotten hurt or fallen ill, and then I sort of drift off into a weird non-helpful mode. This ineptitude of mine is really frustrating to her, and, frankly, also to me.


It was very pleasant this summer to have someone anticipating my needs when I couldn't take care of myself. Some day, I hope, I will learn to do the same for her when she is in need.